


Strangely Panicked

by MarsTheFknMartian



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: Human AU, Human Sides (Sanders Sides), I blame the shoujo, I have no idea how tags work, Logan is also there, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Patton is a proud supportive dad, Roman is modeling, Roomates AU, This Is STUPID, Virgil has an attack, also they're roomates, also this is better, and isn't a total douche, and she never does again, based off of a crappy shoujo, because she has never had anxiety/panic before, because the boy actually runs after him, but i forgot to give him something to do, in which this situation makes no sense, oh my god they're roomates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-07-01 01:07:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15763488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarsTheFknMartian/pseuds/MarsTheFknMartian
Summary: Roman has gotten a job in modeling and it's going great! One day he decides to invite his friends and roomates to the shoot with him, but things take an unexpected turn when Virgil has an attack.PRINXIETY FIC BASED ON ONE SINGLE LINE FROM THAT CRAPPY SHOUJO MANGA WHICH TEACHES GIRLS TO CHANGE THEMSELVES FOR THE BOY THEY LOVE OR THEY WILL NEVER BE LOVED BACK ALSO IT TEACHES BOYS IT’S OKAY NOT TO ASK FOR CONSENT AND THAT IF THAY KEEP INSISTING GIRLS WILL LET THEM HAVE THEIR WAY SO I CHANGED IT AND MADE IT MAKE SENSE





	Strangely Panicked

Roman was ecstatic. He had just gotten a job as a model, and sure, it wasn’t quite acting, but it paid well and still let him show off his flare. He had received permission to bring some friends of his to see his most recent shoot and so of course he was dragging Logan, Patton and Virgil with him to the studio. By the time they had gotten to the studio, Logan had researched the brand they were going to be advertising, Patton had asked him all kinds of questions about the shoot and Virgil… well Virgil, was Virgil, he had stared out the window during the whole ride, quietly observing the landscape with his chin resting on his sweater covered palm and a scowl on his face. The only he had said about this whole modeling thing was a “Congrats” and a forced looking smile. Virgil did however agree to coming along to see the shoot.  
Roman excitedly walked into the building, quickly getting directions to the studio and he energetically lead the way for his friends.  
Virgil was happy for his friend, he really was, and he was very glad about being invited to the shoot, but he was having some serious second thoughts about agreeing to come along, however it was too late to back down now. Virgil was in a new place, with new people and he was seeing Roman the man he admired and, though he would never admit it, liked quite a bit, strutting around the place, looking like this is where he belonged, a place where Virgil would never feel comfortable. Roman seemed to soak the attention on him as the people put his make up on and gave him constant compliments. Things were going fine for Virgil, with him only feeling discomfort and out of place, until the other model came on set. The other model was gorgeous. More so than Virgil could ever dream of being, and seeing them with Roman sparked something in him that had Virgil closing himself off. He watched as the Man he had been in love with for years held another person close and he knew it was stupid, but he couldn’t help but compare himself to them. They looked perfect together. Roman could have any number of people, why would he ever settle for him? He would never be as gorgeous as them, never as carefree, as happy, as good, as free, he would never be nearly enough to stand next to them. The thought hit him like a truck and he couldn’t breathe. He slowly backed into his chair, curling in on himself, trying to even out his breaths. He couldn’t focus anymore, except on them. They looked perfect together. Happy, complete and in love. He tried to remind himself that Roman wanted him here and even that thought was twisted to Roman wanting him to see this, to see the things he could never have, that he could never be.  
He brought his hands up to cover his face. He couldn’t watch, he couldn’t see this anymore.  
“Virgil?” He could hear his name being called, he couldn’t tell by who.  
“I gotta go.” He mumbled as he got up and bolted for the door. He needed to get put of there he needed to get as much distance between himself and the room, and the situation. He ran quickly, not quite sure where he was going, and he ended up on the roof, where he threw himself into a corner, curled up into himself, hugging his knees and desperately tried to calm his breathing and his erratic heartbeat. He was spiraling and he couldn’t stop it. He braced himself and closed his eyes, feeling the sting of tears. He shook and gulped down air, He let the tears roll and he hoped to god the others wouldn’t notice. That Roman wouldn’t notice. Roman didn’t need this. He didn’t need his problems. He didn’t need him, and definitely didn’t want him. Not when he could have anybody else.  
Roman was enjoying his photo shoot. He was the center of attention and he soaked it up like a sponge. He was really getting into it. The clothes, the make up, the poses. This is what he lived for. He posed with the other model, holding them close, hands on their hips, intimate poses, that gave the people reading the magazine the feeling that they were in a happy relationship. Between poses he would shoot looks at his friends. Patton had stars in his eyes, he was looking like a proud father, Logan was mostly interested in the techniques the photographer was using, but he also seemed impressed with Roman’s dedication to the role. Virgil, however seemed to be looking anywhere but at him.  
Roman frowned for only half a moment before turning his attention back to the photographer. By the next time he turned to look at Virgil the boy had his head in his hands and Roman was getting worried.  
“Virgil?” He called for the other man, but he just bolted out of the room, after mumbling something.  
“I’ll take my break now Mr. Sanders!” He called to the photographer, before running out after his friend.  
Roman had never really realized how fast Virgil could be until he was chasing after him, followed closely by Patton and Logan.  
Roman realized shortly after he began the chase that he had lost him. He turned to Logan and Patton. They divided the search, Roman would take the roof and higher floors, Patton the middle floors and Logan the lower floors and the nearest places around.  
Roman flung himself back into the frantic search, starting on the roof and working his way down. He almost missed him, curled up on the floor hidden and tucked away in the corner.  
He was shaking uncontrollably and Roman knew for certain that Virgil was having a panic attack.  
Roman approached him slowly, arms held high, to show he wasn’t dangerous, but Virgil didn’t seem to notice him. Roman crouched down in front of him and ever so slowly wrapped his arms around him.  
Virgil hugged himself tighter, hiding his head in his legs, his eyes darting around uncontrollably. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t see. He-he couldn’t-  
There were arms around him. Someone was holding him. He froze. A soothing voice was talking quietly. A hand was suddenly in his hair and it was petting him, running through his hair. The hand on his back started to draw circles on his back and he couldn’t-he-he couldn’t-  
There was a boulder crushing his insides, but the repetitive, calming circles seemed to slowly lift it. The low voice slowly started to make sense.  
“Virgil, it’s gonna be okay, you’re gonna be okay. Listen to me, please, take deep breaths, come on, breathe with me.”  
Virgil obeyed the voice that was planted so deep in his heart that he could feel it reverberating inside him. He matched his breaths to Roman’s, and as air started to fill his lungs he felt the warmth of his hands spreading and when Virgil managed to focus his eyes he was filled with the deep chocolate brown that was so simply Roman. He trembled in Roman’s arms and he fell apart in them. He threw his arms around Roman and he buried his face in the crook of his neck.  
Roman held him. He guided him through it, he guided his breathing, he stayed with him through it all.  
Roman held him. He kept drawing soothing patterns on his back, he kept whispering reassuring words to him, and he held him tightly.  
Roman let him cry his eyes out on the expensive shirt he needed for the shoot, he let him tire himself out. He held him through it. If Virgil didn’t love him before he definitely did now.  
As Virgil calmed down enough to properly think he unwrapped his arms from Roman, but did not make any move to get out of his embrace.  
“I’m sorry.” He whispered to him, sniffling slightly.  
“Hey, hey, it’s okay Virge, really, you have nothing to be sorry for.” Roman whispered back, still holding him.  
“But-but I ruined your shoot,” he said, before noticing the tear stained shirt “and the shirt” he added bitterly.  
“Oh, Virge, it doesn’t matter. You are more important than anything in there.” he said, gesturing to the door that lead back inside.  
“Think you’re ready to face the others again? They were real worried.”  
Virgil soundlessly nodded and Roman gently got up, lifting Virgil up with him.  
Virgil noted with faint surprise that Roman still had a hand planted firmly on his back and drawing abstract patterns on it.  
The two walked slowly, taking their time, and with his free hand Roman texted the other two, telling them he had found him and that they were okay and heading back to the studio.  
When Roman and Virgil had gotten back to the shoot room Logan and Pat had been there for a few moments and Patton jumped at the sight of them, immediately enveloping Virgil in a hug, and it was then that Roman let his hand drop from Virgil’s back and he had never felt an absence quite like that one. Once Roman was back they had started the shoot again, but this time Virgil was too tired to properly see what was going on. He had fallen asleep in his chair and he woke up when they were wrapping up and Patton tapped him gently in the shoulder, to let him know they were gonna go home in only a few minutes. He nodded drowsily and followed them as they went to the car and drove home. Once home Virgil crashed on his room and just laid on his bed, not sleeping, but just laying.  
A couple hours later a knock came at his bedroom door and Virgil begrudgingly opened it, only to reveal Roman, in his usual white tee with a large castle on it. Virgil looked at him inquisitively.  
“Hey, um, I was wondering if you were okay, after what happened today, and if you maybe wanted to talk about it?” Roman awkwardly stuttered out.  
Virgil sighed and motioned Roman to come inside.  
Roman had made himself at home in Virgil’s room, sitting down cross-legged on his bed.  
Virgil sat next to him.  
“if you want to ask me something just spit it out,” he said, crossing his arms.  
“I just wanted to know what caused it. I wanted to know so I could avoid it, later on,” Roman said, fidgeting slightly.  
“It’s stupid, really,”  
Virgil sighed, but was too tired to come up with some bullshit to tell him.  
“When I saw you and the other model, I felt,” he paused for a moment, “insignificant. I felt like I wasn’t enough.”  
Roman looked at him, confused.  
“I mean, the two of you looked perfect together, and I guess I just realized that you could have anybody you wanted and just. I am never going to be good enough am I?” He asked as he started to tear up.  
“Wait, Virge, do you,” Roman looked at him incredulously, “do you like me?”  
Virgil spat out a bitter laugh.  
“I thought that much was obvious.” He said, before turning his back to Roman and throwing himself to lay back on his bed.  
Roman felt a warm fuzzy tingling starting to spread and suddenly he knew what to do. He crawled on the bed to get to the other side of Virgil and looked at him with the most sincere grin on his face.  
“Can I kiss you?” he asked as he leaned closer to Virgil.  
“W-what?” Virgil squeaked out, blushing heavily.  
“Can I kiss you?” Roman repeated.  
“But, why?” Virgil asked, looking at him, trying to find a trace of mocking in his face.  
“Because I like you too, you emo idiot!” Roman exclaimed, grin still plastered on his face.  
“So, can I?” He asked again.  
Virgil nodded, slightly shocked and Roman leaned in, closing the distance between them and finally he felt whole.  
Virgil felt Roman’s warmth seep into him as the other man slowly wrapped his arms around him, embracing him for the second time that day, though in very different circumstances, and he felt full and, as cliché as it might be, he felt whole. He felt calm. He felt at peace.  
When Virgil’s lips finally touched his Roman felt a spark and when Virgil didn’t pull away Roman felt strong. He wrapped his arms around Virgil almost subconsciously and he felt needed. He felt warm and comfortable. He felt whole, and he loved the cliché of it.  
When the two broke for air, they stayed together, wrapped in eachother’s arms. They didn’t do anything else, but bask in the presence and embrace of the man they loved most dearly.  
They stayed cuddled together until the morning came, when Patton had knocked on the door to Virgil’s room in a panic, because he couldn’t find Roman anywhere, but when the two emerged from the room hand in hand, he simply smiled and offered them pancakes.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this is my first sander sides work, and I hope you enjoy! If you notice any mistakes, please let me know, so I can fix them. I did my best to catch them all, but some will always escape me.  
> Constructive criticism is always welcome and appreciated. Please tell me your thoughts, I will almost certainly answer any and all questions and comments. That's it for now aliens, byeee


End file.
